THE BLOGWALKER

Lucu 9

2011-04-08T21:43:00.000-07:00

Lucu 8

2011-04-08T21:41:00.001-07:00

Lucu gila lawak

Lucu 7

2011-04-08T21:39:00.000-07:00

Lucu ni...

Lucu 6

2011-04-08T21:34:00.000-07:00

Apakah ini lucu?

Lucu 5

2011-04-08T21:31:00.000-07:00

Kisah lucu ini bermula dengan seorang jin

Lagi Canggih

2011-01-25T05:13:00.000-08:00

Dia punya laptop lagi canggih, siap dalam laptop leh generate nasi goreng ikan masin.

Saper punya keje ni???

2011-01-13T05:43:00.000-08:00

Giler Punya Nama

2011-01-13T05:29:00.000-08:00

Cara Nak Tahu Tahi Tu Milik Laki Ke Perempuan

2010-12-23T03:58:00.000-08:00

Kalau korang tengah jalan-jalan kat suatu tempat, tiba-tiba korang terjumpa seketul taik manusia. Korang bertanya pada diri sendiri, ni taik laki ke perempuan??? Macam mana korang nak tau jawapannya???

Kalau taik tu basah-basah sikit, haaa tu taik pompuan la tu... Sebab laki kalau berak boleh adjust kencing dia kat mana-mana yang mau ditarget................ Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!

How to Catch a Liar

2010-08-31T04:05:00.000-07:00

How do he talk?Although the voice changes to a tip-to fraud, experts say that for sure, you also need to give attention to a speech rate and breathing patterns - where either speed up or slow down, it is likely you will not hear all the truth.

The Way He Saying

Liars tend to avoid the word exclusively as "I," "or," "except," and "temporary" because they have difficulty with complex thinking processes. Liars tend not to use the words "I," "I," and "mine." In their efforts to keep themselves psychologically from their stories high, liars tend to communicate using a personal pronoun fewer.

Is his face giving it away?
You may think disguising your true feelings is easily accomplished with the help of a smile, but the expressions that flash across your face will give away what you're really thinking -- whether you know it or not. Experts advise paying close attention to the micro-expressions that a face can't hide. These clues are often so difficult to detect that even trained experts have trouble discerning them.

How is the person smiling?
A smile can sometimes mask a person's true feelings. Pay close attention to how a person smiles as well as other facial movements. You may be able to detect the emotions he or she is trying to hide -- such as fear, anger, and disgust. A true smile will incorporate both a person's lips and eyes.

Does the body language follow the story?
It's more important to examine a person's entire demeanor, as there's no one feature that's apt to give away a liar. Honesty is characterized by features that are in sync with one another -- so besides posture, note the fit between face, body, voice, and speech.

Is your subject behaving uncharacteristically?
Experts believe changes in a person's baseline -- how she generally conducts herself -- are worthy of your attention. You should weigh rate of speech, tone of voice, posture, and hand gestures against what you know, along with the context of the situation.

Are the questions easy or embarrassing?It's normal for a person to turn when submitting a difficult question. But when a person prevent you viewing when asked simple questions, you should be suspicious.

I see SHIT, they see ASSHOLE

2010-08-13T16:27:00.000-07:00

When top level guys look down, they see only shit;
When bottom level guys look up, they see only assholes

Top 9 Most Annoying People on Facebook

2010-04-18T02:25:00.000-07:00

Kamasutra Nature

2010-04-14T09:10:00.000-07:00

Shit!!! Sex on the hood while driving..

2010-04-12T10:22:00.000-07:00

Desperate...

Liu Bolin

2010-03-14T04:36:00.000-07:00

Maybe you have heard about him… or maybe not. Liu Bolin, an inpirational and fascinating artist. Some artists paint flowers, others paint abstract figures, he paints himself. But in such way he becomes one with the world and objects around him. He blends with the environment and gives birth to amazing illusions.

Whether it’s a graffiti or a phone booth he’s there, WELL HIDDEN

Who Is This Guy?

2010-03-11T04:01:00.000-08:00

This is the new look of Osama Laden after been visualized by the CIA.... The CIA believes that Osama is hiding himself in Pakistan. Okay, Pakistan, standby for something really 'big' ... u know what US will always do...

Instruction

2010-02-17T02:03:00.000-08:00

Please click all the links

Copy the exact url for each links as proof

Creative Photo Using Sunset and Unusual Angle For Snapping

2010-01-12T10:40:00.000-08:00

The funniest video in Malaysia!!!!

2009-11-11T17:04:00.000-08:00

Hey people!!!

Here I have some very funny and some moral added value video. As a Malaysian people, we must proud of our own culture. The video is about 2 buddies and they are Indian people. They pretend to be like black man rappers and suddenly… errrrr…. You better watch the video yourselves.

The word ‘Patti’ that will you here in minutes 1.03 means Grandma. The other friend heard that Patti means Party…. Anyway just watch!!!! Must watch…

Director slap Kenya West

2009-11-08T06:10:00.001-08:00

Hey Malaysians!!!

After the big issue getting slapped by Taylor Swift at the VMA last September, again Kenya West getting slapped by a short film director after he refusing to put down his blueberry phone. I'm not sure whether this is only a made video or a true video. Anyway, check it out the videos. I attached 2 videos here, the 1st video, is when Kenya West insult Taylor Swift at VMA and the other video is the video which the director slapped Kenya West.

Taylor Swift Halloween Pranked By Ellen

2009-11-08T06:08:00.001-08:00

Hey Malaysians!!!

The video was taken by Ellen TV Show on 30^th October 2009. Taylor Swift was pranked by Ellen in her bathroom when she was asked one of Ellen crew to check out something in the bathroom.

Ellen scared Taylor to death, poor her!! The hilarious things are when Taylor fell in the floor and Taylor’s reaction. If only they would show the video in slow motion!!!

I love this...

2009-10-22T11:11:00.000-07:00

Hey Malaysians!!!

I received a flier today on my mailbox mentioning "Join our community to save trees!!! Let's make the world GREEN!!! Please visit our www.xxxxxxxx.com to join our community"

Then I visit their website. I read all the contents and I was so interested when one of it articles states that "It takes 15 trees to produce the amount of paper that we use to write in one exam."

Huh?????????? It give me an idea to set up one new community... wanna join???

Join my community in promoting the noble cause of saving trees. SAY NO TO EXAMS

Understand the target market

2009-10-22T10:53:00.000-07:00

Hey Malaysians!!!

It's very difficult to handle a marketing job especially when you are trying to introduce a new product to the public. Like my boss always said, when you are trying to promote something, you must 1st understand the target market.

A disappointed salesman of Coca Cola returns
from his Middle East assignment.
A friend asked, "Why weren't you successful with the Arabs?"
The salesman explained, "When I got posted in the Middle East,
I was very confident that I will makes a good sales pitch
as Cola is virtually unknown there.
But, I had a problem I didn't know to speak Arabic.
So, I planned to convey the message through 3 posters...
First poster, a man crawling through the hot desert sand...
Totally exhausted and panting.
Second poster, the man is drinking our Cola and
Third, our man is now totally refreshed.
Then these posters were pasted all over the place"
"That should have worked," said the friend.
The salesman replied, "Well, not only did I not speak Arabic,
I also didn't realise that Arabs Read from Right to Left..."

Bang Bang Boom!!!

2009-10-22T10:15:00.001-07:00

Hey Malaysians!!!

Have you ever watch TV Program called Bang Bang Boom??? It's kind of a prank show,TV program. For me, it's a great show although most Malaysian who been pranked by them are not sporting. Maybe the culture of pranking people is still new in Malaysia. Anyway, I am posting a funny booth prank video for you guys to watch. Who knows, the Bang Bang Boom team will do the same to you guys at any photo booth here. PREPARE!!!

Hey long time no see... heheeheheh

2009-10-22T09:38:00.001-07:00

Hey Malaysians!!!

Sorry for the long delay not updating this blog. I was busy with my new job selling P1Wimax at Setiawangsa.

Anyone want to buy ISP??? Do contact me.. heheheheehehehe...

Great Wussy teacher…

2009-09-01T08:23:00.000-07:00

Hey Malaysians!!!!!!

Again, the post for today is wussy or gay. This is what I discover from the internet, how a wussy can be a real man back…. Please contact this great teacher, 1-800-998-100 it’s a free tol service. Her name is Ms. Esta.

Ms. Esta has trained more than 600 wussy guys to become a real man back. One of her lessons is the soldier/rambo training. You can watch the youtube video I attached in this entry on how the train works.

Seriously, the guy on the video succeeds to change himself to become a real man.

Please watch!!!

Beware of her...

2009-08-31T15:56:00.000-07:00

Hey Malaysians!!!

Most guy perceptions towards girl or lady, the bigger their boobs the sexier they are.. Hahahahaha..

But have you ever know, boobs might killed people??? Watch this video, how this lady use her boobs as her weapon..

Band Promo :Lydias Diery

2009-08-25T14:33:00.000-07:00

Hey Malaysians!!!!!!!

Meet Lydias Diery :)

Lydias Diery is a Malaysian band which plays radio friendly pop rock songs. The band’s direction and decision to deviate from their previous genre of alternative and grunge vibes is largely due to the fact that the members wanted to venture out and try something new. With the coming of their newfound direction and departures of a few members of the group, Lydias Diery recruited new blood to fill in the void that was left gaping. The vocalist for the band is known as Botaq. Wu Shern and Sanpagan man the guitars in the group. Wan is entrusted with the percussions and drums and Fabian plays bass. At this point in time, Lydias Diery has 2 songs playing on Malaysian radio. Masih and Kisah Cinta Nasi Lemak are essentially the 2 malay songs that encapsulate the new direction which the band wishes to endeavor in. Caller ringtones of these 2 songs are available via a few telecommunication providers and the band also hosts questions and feedback from its fans through the band’s myspace account. Lydias diery are in the midst of recording their 1st album which is very widely anticipated in a few quarters and according to the band, hopes to be released late this year or early next.

MOVIE TRAILER : Jin Notti (Must WATCH!!!!)

2009-08-22T18:01:00.001-07:00

Hey Malaysians!!!!!!

Happy celebrating Ramadan!!! For this upcoming 'Aidilfitri' celebration, let's entertain ourselves with a Malay movie entitled Jin Notti. I'm sure this will be a booming local movie for this year acted by Fara Fauzana and the number ONE Malaysian singer, MAWI!!!!!

Notti, a lonely female genie is sent for imprisonment by the court of genies for her indecency that is against their norm. Insulted by her conduct, the court decides to expel her to the world to do various bad things yet it never works to change her into becoming a bad genie. After a series of punishment and trial, the court has reached their verdict and has cast her out to the world forever. And her last wish in front of the court has only sparked her love interest with a human, Ajiz.

This not funny!!!

2009-08-22T06:11:00.000-07:00

Hey Malaysians!!!!!!

I’ve read from one financial insider stating that Shanghai and Beijing are becoming new lands of opportunity for recent American college graduates who face unemployment nearing double digits at home. In other words, Shanghai and Beijing are becoming one type of place for these unemployment students to start a business there, as they are lured by China’s surging economy, the lower cost of living and a chance to bypass some of the dues paying that is common to first jobs in the United States.

Nahhh… you see? Then Indonesian people realize that Malaysia is an opportunity space for them to create wealth, and recently, the American people are looking for opportunities outside from their own country to get a better living. And of coz, the China man welcome these students for the sake of building up their economic structure as the both countries coming from the ‘3rd world’, in which Malaysia is better than them.

How about us, the Malaysian people? We are giving chance to the outsiders to take ‘gold’ from our own land. The Bangladesh people, Indonesians and Indians (I’m referring to Mamak) are now conquering our economic trends by doing their business here.

Speaking about it, THIS IS NOT FUNNY….. 

MOVIE PREVIEW : Pisau Cukur

2009-08-21T08:49:00.000-07:00

What happens when prey and predator are both trapped on a luxury cruise ship? Two gold digging girls, Bella and Intan, come face to face with three Datuks, three Datuk's wives, two Datuk's children, one private detective and one diehard fan of Bella's. Who are the predators and who are the prey? On a voyage that's full of surprises, anything can happen! "PISAU CUKUR" coming soon in cinemas 2009.

Things We Do...

2009-08-20T14:01:00.000-07:00

Hey Malaysians!!!

Speaking about politics, I’m sure most Malaysian will never satisfy any of politic issues, such issues regarding on leading the country, economic, religion matters and so on. We as the people can only voice out our needs and wants to the leader but it alls depends whether the head will listen to the foot or not. In the case of no satisfaction among the people towards the leader, here is one of among several things that Malaysian people usually do, they EDIT PICTURES…

DATO' SERI NAJIB TUN RAZAK

TUN AHMAD BADAWI

TUN MAHATHIR

Movie Preview: The Fantastic Mr. Fox

2009-08-20T04:38:00.000-07:00

Some of my favorite directors are just rollin' out the trailers today — first the Coen brothers with A Serious Man, now Wes Anderson with his forthcoming project The Fantastic Mr. Fox. This animated film is based on the Roald Dahl book of the same name and follows a family of foxes and their animal associates as they struggle against the farmers who want to dig out their neighborhood.

I'm not sure whether the first word to describe this trailer should be "bizarre" or "hilarious" — but either way, I know I want to see this movie. George Clooney as Mr. Fox and Bill Murray as the "demolitions expert" badger seem like particularly inspired bits of casting, and Meryl Streep as Mrs. Fox isn't far behind. The trailer really won me over about halfway through, when the foxes start doing things like making bandit masks out of spare tube socks and drugging beagles with blueberries. Not unlike Where the Wild Things Are, it looks like a cross between a children's classic and a film hipsters will adore.

UPCOMING MOVIE :FAME!!!

2009-08-20T04:27:00.000-07:00

A reinvention of the original Oscar®-winning hit film, Fame follows a talented group of dancers, singers, actors, and artists over four years at the New York City High School of Performing Arts, a diverse, creative powerhouse where students from all walks of life are given a chance to live out their dreams and achieve real and lasting fame... the kind that comes only from talent, dedication, and hard work.

In an incredibly competitive atmosphere, plagued by self-doubt, each student's passion will be put to the test. In addition to their artistic goals, they have to deal with everything else that goes along with high school, a tumultuous time full of schoolwork, deep friendships, budding romance, and self-discovery.

As each student strives for his or her moment in the spotlight, they'll discover who among them has the innate talent and necessary discipline to succeed. With the love and support of their friends and fellow artists, they'll find out who amongst them will achieve Fame...

UPCOMING MOVIE : whip it~~~~~~

2009-08-20T04:21:00.000-07:00

In the small towns of Texas if you can imagine how a girl will adapt to been a roller derby. It was not an easy task especially if she was kept instead of their mothers limitations. There are lots of teens that have found so many difficulties in life due to the restrictions and miss leads by their parents. Really it was very unfortunate to be and some oft he teens have found them self a new way by leaving all the rules and rights behind. Some times it could be the change they need of life. Doing some thing that you really dont want to do is miserable.

But hire in the movie Whip it review it shows a wonderful life changing story of a young teen that found her way back in life in a roller derby team. there are so many things to be learn as a teen for her and only her parents are thing of she can be a such beautiful pageants. But this girl has other thoughts and she was really not all that fine with these beauty parlors. Bliss is her name and she was looking for a new change in life. But her parents dream is stopping her been what person she really wants to be in life. Some short of a youth revival shows in the movie Whip It (2009).this movie was adopted by a novel Cross novel Derby Girl.

How ever the movie does not able to fallow all the captions in the book as it were and movie been adding so many adventures and hilarious stuff into the story. It was quite fascinating to see in the end. Movie Whip It (2009) making few differences from the book and tries to get more humor and romance in to the movie. it was very polite and teens attractions must count on these short of issues like romance and joy. Ellen Page plays the role of girl Bliss. She has been adapted well in to the character and it was fine piece of acting from her. Her desperation shows across the movie and rest of the story line was made around her. There for she got a big role to play in this movie. This movie does have a good manner of showing the teens likes and also it

Discovers a new area of parents hopes in their children. When she was chosen for the roller derby her father does encourage her. And even mother was little happy to see her achievements after all. it was awesome movie experience as a teen and sport movie. This movie was well directed by Drew Barrymore and not only that he was also joins in the production too. Everybodys Fine (2009), Beverly Hills Chihuahua (2008) does come to our heads as her actor credits. Her experience in this movie does help her a lot for this direction. This movie was due to release on October 9th, 2009 and it was a fine comedy movie. Ellen Page, Marcia Gay Harden, Kristen Wiig, Juliette Lewis and Jimmy Fallon join in the cast of this movie. There are some imaginations of parents can be wrong but a teen does have a right to find their way in life.

Protect Yourself!!!

2009-08-18T16:49:00.000-07:00

Hey Malaysians!!!

The topic for this entry is WUSSY or u can call it gay. I had an experience, during my college time when some wussy guy tries to flirt me who keep sending letters and sms to me just to know me more… it really make me uncomfortable and up to one level, it totally pissed me off which forced me to leave some eye bruise on his face. Yuppp, he already got his lessons… phewww…

Nowadays, everything is getting weird…. Man like man, girls becoming boys n etc.

Ok back to the wussy topic, how to know if someone is a wussy??? Watch the video and try to use it, IT REALLY WORKS… huhuhuhuhuhuhuhh…

Hmmm….. I wonder how a wussy explain his parents that he’s a gay??? Finally, I got the answers… please watch the video…

The annoying Bush!!!

2009-08-18T15:40:00.000-07:00

Hey Malaysians!!!!!!!

I always hope every of my writings here will sustain at least for the next 40 years for my grandchildren. In the next 40 years I might having a grandchild or perhaps several grandchildren which can be at the age between 5 to 10 years old.

Blogging is a part of my daily chores. So, I have to keep on updating it, and at the time the world chase me out, I already left some journals for my grandchildren to know at least, their grandpa’s life.

So for this second entry, I dedicate this entry to my future grandchildren. It’s about the person I HATE most in this world, George Bush.

To all my future grandchildren, if you don’t know this person, let me explain to you kids… he was a President of United States…YES HE WAS!!!! …. PLUS… he’s a transvestite. Don’t believe it??? Check out the pics…

This was her when she won Miss Transvestite 2007 represent United States

She always dream to be the next Marilyn Monroe

This was her as a pornstar magazine

When she was a college students

This my 1st entry..

2009-08-18T13:20:00.000-07:00

Hey Malaysians, FYI, this is my 9th blogs that I have created so far since I've been addicted to the world of blogging. But this blog is more on jokes and funny thinggy as well as my favorite funny collection videos which I want to share with you, Malaysians!!!!

I'm very sure most of you Malaysian people had watched Malaysian Idol and also American Idol tv program. Nahhhhh, for this 1st entry, I'll show you the collection of my favorite funniest moment happened in Idol tv program around the world.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

NUMB- (enam)
Taken from Indonesian Idol

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MALAYSIAN IDOL 1
This is the Malaysian William Hung Wannabe... Everytime I watched this video I can't imagine how can this guy came for an audition wearing St. John Ambulance Shirt??? Anyway do watch this video,and please watch his finger movement... it really woooowwww!!!

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BEAT IT
Taken From West African Idol....

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We're Brothers
Taken from American Idol. Who said eveyone hate Simon? This video proof them wrong,

Apa Kata Hati 3

2008-02-18T21:20:00.000-08:00

Apa Kata Hati 2

2008-02-18T21:18:00.000-08:00

Apa Kata Hati 1

2008-02-18T21:09:00.000-08:00

Surprise

2006-10-30T01:41:00.002-08:00

Pada suatu pagi, si suami teringin sangat membuat XXX dengan isterinya. " Ayang, hari ni abang kerja syif petang, abang teringin bang nak buat XXX sekarang, boleh tak" tanya si suami dgn suara yg manja sambil tangannya lincah mengusap T*k T*k isterinya.." Lah bang, ayang masih ngantuk lagi la, malam ni, lepas abang habis kerja, ayang bagi boleh tak,pls...pasti abang akan suprise gila"

Lapan Jam kemudian, si suami pun tergesa -gesa pulang rumah dengan hatinya tertanya-tanya, apa suprise agaknya...

Sesampainya di rumah, nampak gelap dari luar rumah. Jadi si suami pun ingat yang si isteri dah kata nak bagi suprise pagi tadi, jadi si suami ni pun tak on lampu bilik dan terus masuk. Apa lagi, dengan niat untuk adakan XXX sudah meluap, si suami pun teranjang bulat lalu melompat terus ke atas katil. si suami meraba-raba tubuh yang dipeluknya dari bahagian kepala hingga lah ke hujung kaki. "Eh! apasal lain macam je tubuh isteriku hari ni? ah! takpe lah, kan dah kata suprise, suprise leh tu..." si suami pun melakukan apa yang di hajatnya sejak dari pagi tadi. "Uh ah uh ah...!" itu je suara yang di dengar si suami..

Tiba-tiba, Tup " apa abang buat ni?" tanya si isteri bengang selepas si isteri on lampu bilik.

Si suami lagi bengang " Eh, abang ingat, ayang yang baring kat katil, mana abang tau emak pula orangnya. patutlah rasa macam lain je bila abang masukkan anu abang dalam .... mak,"

Rupa-rupanya, si isteri keluar rumah beli makanan malam tapi tak tahu pula yang emaknya datang dari kampung akan bertandang ke rumah. Si emak pula terlalu letih kerana travel jauh, pun tertidur kat bilik anak pompuannya kerana ada air-cond.

Hari Ni Hari Apa?

2006-10-30T01:41:00.000-08:00

Sepasang pengantin baru mengalami gangguan kesihatan. Setelah diperiksa dengan teliti, doktor memberitahu perkara itu disebabkan oleh hubungan seks yang terlalu kerap.

"Untuk sementara waktu ini, anda berdua dinasihatkan supaya menghadkan kegiatan seks. Sebaiknya dua kali saja seminggu sahaja. Untuk memudahkan mengingat, saya sarankan untuk melakukan hubungan ini hanya pada hari yang bermula dengan huruf S, iaitu Selasa dan Sabtu," saran doktor.

Akan tetapi pada malam ketiga berpuasa dari membuat hubungan itu, sisuami tidak dapat lagi menahan nafsunya lalu mencumbui isterinya yang sedang tidur sehingga isterinya terjaga.

"Hari ini hari apa bang?" tanya si isteri.

"Sumaat"

Kisah Orang Jawa

2006-10-30T01:36:00.000-08:00

Pada 1 hari pak jono mendapat panggilan dari anak nya yg belajar di London,, anak nya menyuruh pak jono datang kerana xlama lg da konvo,.. pak jono pon pegi london.. smpai di london pak jono tepon anak die.. minta alamat, masalah nya pak jono xtau speaking. die pon tahan dan masuk ke dalam 1 teksi dan memberikan alamat anaknya.

taxi: where u want to go sir?

pak jono: anak2!

taxi: anal?

pak jono: ha.

driver 2 pon memulakan perjalanan.. bila tiba di tempat sunyi taxi 2 brenti.,driver 2 trus trun dan pegi belakang,die trus cium pak jono dgn ganas! sambil meramas2 pak jono!

taxi: u ask for it!

pak jono: eh! apa ni?? sakit la!

taxi: suck it? okey i'll do it..(pe lg driver 2 ehem2 pak jono la)

pak jono: tolong! tolong!

taxi: to long? holy shit! okey i'll try to be fast!

pak jono pon dilanyak dengan ganas menggunakan jalan alternatif (jln blakang)

nk sedap kan criter pak jono pon ngandung.. camne leh mengandung? ak pon xtau..

Kompius

2006-10-30T01:21:00.000-08:00

aini ngan malik merupakan sepasang tunang..kra dok hangat2 bercinta ag ala..mereka pon membuat

keputusan bercuti bersama2 kat pulau langkawi..syok ooo...abeh ja pulang k e rumah..si aini menelepon

malik..

aini:abg....kite blik dri langkawi dlm keadaan bersih kan??

malik:maksud ayang...

aini:yelah..kita xwat pa2 kan..

malik:ada la wat skit2..takat ringan2 kat pantai chenang ari tu

aini:itu ayang ingat tp mlm kita xwat projek kan???

malik:mana ada...abg nak simpan dara tu sampai kawin ti..kan kita dok pon blik asing2...lupaka???

aini:yeka abg??abg pasti

malik:ye la..kompem punya..talak mohong....ayg stok bini tu..mana leh ragut awai2...

aini:ayg konpius la abg..mlm last kat langkawi sapa y tidoq ngan ayg???

Datang Bulan

2006-10-30T01:19:00.000-08:00

Ali dan teman-teman sekelasnya di tadika

di tugaskan gurunya mencari sesuatu peristiwa

yang menarik untuk di ceritakan dan digambarkan keesokan

harinya di sekolah. Keesokan harinya tiba giliran Ali untuk

menggambarkan hal menarik yang ditemuinya. Dia pun

menggambarkan sebuah lingkaran yang di namainya

"Datang Bulan". Guru nya pelik dan menanyakan apa alasan

Ali menganggap datang bulan adalah sesuatu yang menarik??..

Ali pun dengan selamba menjawab...

"Saya sendiri bingung apa yang menarik tentang datang bulan..

Tapi yang jelas setelah kakak sulung saya menyatakan dia

terlambat datang bulan selama tiga bulan, ayah saya tiba-tiba

sakit jantung, ibu pula menangis tak berhenti dan anak muda

yang sewa di sebelah rumah bunuh diri".......

Siapa Terror?

2006-10-30T01:18:00.000-08:00

Ada seorang pak cik yang bernama Pak DI yang sangat kaya.
Setiap hari beliau akan menyimpan RM1000 di bank. Setiap hari
tepat pukul 9 pagi Pak DI dah pun bersiap sedia terpacak di kuanter bank
untuk menyimpan RM1000nya. Setelah lebih kurang setahun berlalu, kehadirannya
setiap hari disedari oleh Manager Bank. Menager Bank itu pun memanggilnya
ke office dan bertanya..

Manager : Setiap hari saya lihat pak cik akan menympan RM1000
di bank. Apa kerja pak cik??
Pak DI : Saya ni sebenarnya tak de kerja encik. Cuma saya suka
bertaruh.Setiap hari saya akan bertaruh dan saya tak pernah
kalah.
Manager : Ooo... ini sudah cukup bagus. Tapi pak cik mungkin
belum bertemu dengan orang yang teror macam saya ni. Kalau pak cik bertaruh
dengan saya jangan haraplah nak menang.
Pak DI : Iye ke? Kalau macam tu jom kita bertaruh.
Manager : Okay. Sebutkan apa saja pak cik nak bertaruh dengan saya.
Pak DI : Macam ni... dalam tempoh 7 hari dari sekarang encik
akan kehilangan telur encik. Kalau betul encik akan hilang RM1000, kalau tak
saya akan bayar encik RM1000.
Manager : Hahaha.. tak logiklah pak cik. Tapi tak pe... saya setuju.

Setelah kedua-duanya setuju mereka pun beredar.
Besoknya bila bangun pagi Manager tu pun meraba telurnya.. ooh
masih ada. Begitulah seterusnya hinggalah sampai ke hari yang ketujuh dia
dapati telurnya masih lagi ada.. Dengan suka hatinya Manager tersebut
pun pergilah berjumpa dengan Pak DI.....

Manager : Pak cik sorrylah ye.. telur saya masih lagi ada..
Pak DI : Betul ke? Aku tak percaya... Mari sini aku pegang...

Lalu dipegangnya anu Manager tu. Sambil tersenyum Pak DI pun
berkata..

Pak DI : Okaylah.. Betul kata kau. Nah ambil RM1000 ni..(Pak DI pun menghulurkannya.)
Manager : Hari ni baru pak cik tahu siapa yang teror...
Sorrylah pakcik hari ni pak cik tak dapat pergi bank lagi keh.. keh.. keh...

Tiba-tiba Pak Di mengeluarkan RM4000 dan pergi ke kuanter bank.
Manager tersebut rasa hairan lalu bertanya pada Pak DI.....

Manager : mana pak cik dapat duit sebanyak tu?
Pak DI : Pak cik bertaruh dengan kawan pak cik Guard kat luar
tu tadi RM5000.

Manager : Bertaruh apa?
Pak DI : Bertaruh yang pak cik dapat pegang telur Manager Bank.....
Manager : Tak guna punya orang tue...

Cikgu Yang Sporting

2006-10-30T01:07:00.000-08:00

Ali terdengar perbualan di sebuah rumah sewa(hotel seks sbnrnye).
Puan: Masukkan je pelir tu.
Laki: Nantilah, burit x luas ni.
Lalu Ali pulang dan tanye maknye.
Ali: Mak, pelir tu ape?
Mak: Ohh, pensil.
Ali pun tanye ayahnya pulak.
Ali: Burit tu nape?
Ayah: Gorek(pengasah pencil).
Esoknya Ali gi skolah, memang kena gi skoloh PUN!
Ali mintak gorek ngan cikgunya.
Ali: Cikgu, nak pinjam burit, nak tajamkan pelir.
Lalu cikgu tu pun pergi kt dlm blik rahsia.
Cikgu: Apelagi, tajamkan aje pelir kau tu.
Ali: ???

Ilmu Pengetahuan

2006-10-30T01:05:00.000-08:00

Sebuah keluarga sedang makan malam. Anak lelaki bertanya kepada ayahnya..

Ayah, ada berapa banyak jenis tetek?

Si ayah dengan terkejut menjawab, "anakku di dunia ada tiga jenis tetek:

Pada umur 20an seperti tembikai, bulat dan mantap.

Umur 30’s ke 40’s, ia sama seperti bua pear, masih bagus tapi tergantung sikit.

Setelah 50, ia sama macam bawang.."

Anak hairan.. "Bawang?”

‘Ya, kamu tengok tetek mereka dan akan membuat kamu menangis."

Isteri dan anak perempuannya geram, kemudian anak perempuan berkata,

‘ibu, berapa jenis konek yg ada?.

Ibu, terkejut, tersenyum dan menjawab, “sayang, konek orang lelaki ada 3 jenis.."

Umur 20’s, konek lelaki seperti sebuah pokok oak, kuat dan keras.

Di umur 30’s dan 40’s, seperti kabel, fleksibel, namun sedikit kenyal..

Di umur 50’s, adalah seperti satu pokok krismas"

"Pokok krismas??? ” tanya ank perempuan penuh hairan..

"yapp.. – batangnya kurus dan mati cuma ada bola2nya saja tergantung untuk hiasan …"

Demi Cinta

2006-10-30T01:01:00.000-08:00

Kat 1 company ni, ada sorg seketari yg meletop abes.. cun giler wa cakap lu...

Pastu 1 hari bos dia soh dia teman VVIP dr negara arab pasa urusan bisnes la..

Tak semena2 pak arab tuh tergoda ngan seketeri tu..

Pak Arab: Maukah ente bernikoh dengan ana??

Seketeri: dia mmg tamau tp xsampai hati tolak.. "boleh.. tp dengan 3 syarat."

Pak arab : Ente cakap saja apa syaratnya.. ana tunaikan..

Seketari : Pertama, aku mau cincin kawin berlian 75 karat bertahtakan intan 200 karat..

Pak arab : Si arab terpaku sejenak lalu mengangguk “oke... oke.. ana felikan..ana felikan..”.

seketari cuba fikir syarat yg susah lagi..

Seketari: Kedua, buatkan aku istana di new york ada 100 bilik, Villa di tengah kota paris dgn 200 pelayan, 10 bijik kereta ferarri & 5 bijik jet peribadi..

Pak arab kalut buat call sana sini tgk boleh x dia buat..

Pak Arab : oke.. ana fuatkan.. ana fuatkan.. sambil angguk2

seketari da risau..

Seketari: baiklah.. syarat terakhir.. sbb aku suka sekali dgn sex maka aku mau lelaki yg menjadi suamiku nanti mesti memiliki Mr. Dick sepanjang 30 cm!!

Si Arab kelihatan terkejut & kecewa dgn syarat terakhir ini. Dia menyapu2 muka yang xde peluh.. Dgn tatapan sedih dan mengusap air mata, dia berkata :

“oke.. oke.. ana fotong.. ana fotong……”

Tips Reject Awek

2006-10-30T01:00:00.001-08:00

Nak reject pompuan susah, takut nanti dia frust dan bunuh diri, jadi guna dialog ni

1) Semalam I check dengan doktor, dia kata I HIV positif...

2) Kat telinga I ni ada suara suruh I bunuh diri..

3) U nampak tak mamat tu... (padahal takda orang pun kat situ)

4) Adik beradik I ada 10 orang, semua belajar lagi, I kena sara diorang sebab parents I dah meninggal...

5) I dah keje kat 20 company, tapi paling lama tahan pun 2 bulan je...

6) Hari-hari along cari I, hutang dengan diorang dah mencecah 100 ribu...

7) Tiap2 hari I melancap, sehari sampai 10 kali....

8) Errr, sori, terpegang pulak....

9) Lupa nak bagi tau u, I ni duda anak 10

10) Ish, kalau nak kawin dengan U, I kena ceraikan bini I yang ke 4 tu, sian dia....

Kehilangan

2006-10-30T01:00:00.000-08:00

Baru semalam aku nampak dia di sini. Akhirnya dia pergi juga. Dah lima tahun kami bersama. Tak pernah berpisah, hari-hari bersama. Kita selalu pergi dan balik kerja bersama. Dah macam belangkas. Kalau hari minggu kita pergi pasar bersama-sama. Hubungan kami memang erat. Ini semua salah aku, akibat tabiat berjudi ku, langsung tak simpan duit. Hujung bulan mesti habis. Jadi terpaksalah aku lepaskan dia. Aku pun dan setahun menganggur, jadi mana ada duit lagi nak bayar ansuran kereta. Bye bye kereta ku.....

Cinta Buta

2006-10-30T00:58:00.000-08:00

Mira : Aku hairanlah kenapa orang selalu kata cinta itu buta, bukan ke orang tu yang buta?

Lyn : Betullah tu, cuba kau tengok kat lambang cinta tu, mana ada mata, kira buta le tu....

Cinta Lombok

2006-10-30T00:57:00.000-08:00

Joko seorang warga dari Lombok sedang menggoda awek Melayu bernama Tipah.

Joko : Tipah, marilah ikut abang balik ke Lombok, abang membutuhkan mu di sana...

Tipah : Kepala butuh pak hang!!! (Lalu melempang Joko)

Ayat Awek

2006-10-30T00:54:00.000-08:00

Seorang jejaka yang tak berapa hensome ingin mengayat aweknya supaya dia dapat tidor dengannya.

Jejaka : Awak, saya ada satu teka teki....

Awek : Apa dia?

Jejaka : Apa benda, tiada kanan atau kiri, tiada atas tiada bawah, tiada tengah tiada tepi, tiada awal tiada akhir ?

Awek : Ish, tak tau lah, I give up.

Jejaka : Itulah cinta saya pada awak....

Awek : Betul ke.... he he he. (merah gak lah pipi dia)

Jejaka : Awak, sudi tak awak teman saya di rumah malam ni?

Awek : Boleh, tapi awak kena jawap teka teki saya dulu.

Jejaka : Ok

Awek : Apa benda, bila dipegang sedap, tapi bila dirasa tak sedap?

Jejaka : Emm, tak tau lah.

Awek : Itulah tapak tangan saya (lalu awek tu melempang jejaka tak hensome itu dan terus blah)

Rahsia Di Sebalik Perkahwinan

2006-10-30T00:52:00.000-08:00

Sepasang celebrity terkenal telah berkahwin dan ditemuramah oleh seorang wartawan

Wartawan : Apa yang menyebabkan you pilih P sebagai pasangan hidup you?

Pengantin L : I pilih dia pasal dia baik hati dan memahami I. (sebenarnya aku pilih dia sebab muka dia cun body mantap je, besok dah tua aku blah le)

Wartawan : Apa yang menyebabkan you pilih L sebagai pasangan hidup you?

Pengantin P : I pilh dia, pasal dia seorang lelaki yang bertanggungjawab dan mengambil berat terhadap I. (sebenarnya aku pilih dia pasal dia kaya, bila aku dah kikis harta dia, aku blah le)

Malam pertama jamil & ayu

2006-10-30T00:44:00.000-08:00

Alkisah, seorang pemuda miskin bernama Jamil, berasal dari Benut, Pontian. Keluarganya hanyalah keluarga sederhana.Tidaklah disebut miskin. Ayahnya sehari-hari bekerja sebagai tukang jahit dikampungnya. Karena kegigihannya, Jamil berjaya melanjutkan pelajaran hingga ke UTM walaupun dengan perbelanjaan seadanya. Semasa semester 3 di kampus, Jamil jatuh hati pada seorang gadis bernama Ayu Sofea, juga sama-sama kuliah di fakulti yang sama.

Ayu adalah putri seorang tokoh korporat ternama di daerah Johor Bahru dan juga masih keturunan diraja. Walaupun secara ekonomi, mereka jauh berbeza,namun itu tidak menghalang keduanya untuk saling mencintai. Ayah Ayu yang mengetahui putrinya begitu mencintai pemuda dari keturunan biasa, tak mampu mencegah gelora cinta putrinya. Maka setelah keduanya lulus, pernikahan keduanyapun diselenggarakan dengan meriah. Pesta besar-besaran diadakan untuk mengiringi nikahan. Ayah Jamil yang tak punya banyak harta, hanya dapat memberikan bantuan sumbangan pakaian,langsir, sarung bantal, yang semuanya dibuat dan dijahit sendiri khas untuk pernikahan anaknya Bahagiakah Ayu bersanding dengan Jamil ? Ternyata kebahagiaan mereka tidak berlangsung lama.

Tibalah saatnya malam pengantin tiba. Mereka berduapun memasuki peraduan dengan bahagia.Namun,ketika Jamil membuka pakaiannya dan tinggal hanya memakai seluar dalam, berteriaklah Ayu dengan kuat, sebelum akhirnya pengsan tak sedarkan diri. Jamil masih dalam kebingungan dan tidak tahu kenapa isterinya histeria dan pengsan. Dilihatnya seluar dalam yang dipakai. Aduh!!! Jamil lupa yang seluar dalam itu dijahit oleh ayahnya, dibuat dari kain bekas bungkus tepung gandum. Di tengah seluar dalam itu masih terpampang jelas tulisan,”BERAT BERSIH 25 KG” . Sudah tentu Ayu terus pengsan melihatnya. Ayu tidak dapat membayangkan seberapa besar isinya dengan berat sebegitu.